"Okay so, I'm really bad at math but I still like it a lot! Like really, I'm so bad at it but it's my favorite subject!"

I've noticed that many of my students have the BEST attitude when it comes to school. They are not quick to give up, my little resilient 2nd graders. 

It's refreshing to see how easy it is for them to ask questions and for them to keep trying something. Yes, often times they become very distracted and frustrated but that doesn't mean they are ready to fully give up on something. Usually after a little pep talk and a few things clarified they are right back at it! 

Often times when my CT asks a student a question about the book we are reading together a student will give an answer that makes no sense at all. What I've noticed is they deliver their response so clearly and confidently, even when the logic isn't there. As a teacher, I would much rather my student have the confidence to share what they are thinking, even if it's wrong, compared to a student who has mentally given up and chooses not to share because they are afraid of the consequences. 

Last week I worked with a student who consistently struggles in reading and writing. She hardly reads words out loud correctly and could use some help with her hand writing. In spite of what may seem like "huge academic problems"  this student is incredible when it comes to comprehension! I could read a chapter of a book to her out loud and she could remember ever detail. Last week she answered a question about the book that was read to the class and her answer was so detailed, it was clear she understood what was going on. After my science lesson I gave the class a worksheet with a somewhat complex question to gage their understanding of the first lesson. Many students who appear very bright academically had answers that only displayed that they were approaching the common core standard in terms of their learning. This particular student gave me an answer that displayed that her knowledge was beyond the common core standard. I was so thrilled to see this from her!

Yes, it was hard to read her answer but once I got past that... her answer displayed a true understanding of the topic. This was more than I could say for many of her peers. 

The point is, these students still haven't exactly been exposed to the part of school that knocks them down yet. In the primary grades (K-2) they are still trying to be figured out academically by parents, teachers, psychologists, social works, aids, academic coaches, etc. I feel like we often work so hard in these primary grades to figure the child out and to label them in some academic way. In the primary grades we just let them live that label until they prove otherwise (measured in academic success of course, which most of these students struggle hard with). 

I don't know. I guess I just don't believe all of that. I don't have a better solution to this problem. I just find it so sad that many students have so much potential yet it all comes down to a standardized test which is essentially based on reading ability and time efficiency. I also know it is not realistic to have a teacher spend so much time helping individual students when there are plenty of students on track or above which also need just as much attention. 

In general, I just feel like too often we don't fully consider a students strengths and play to those to help them succeed. We find it much easier to explain their lack of success through an IEP and give them reasons they should be struggling. 

OKAY

I know some students need IEP's. I am not bashing the use of an IEP or saying it's just an excuse. 

I do fully believe we don't always try as hard as we can to help a student be the best they can be before getting to that step. Of course, IEP's exist for a reason and they are very beneficial and the key to success for many students. 

Sometimes I am just so bothered by how standardized school has become because I don't think it is always possible/ feasible to really help every student in the way they truly deserved to be helped... whether that means... 
-Helping advanced students continue to be challenged at a productive level 
or 
-Finding out why a student is behind and using their current strengths to help them build new skills in their more difficult subjects

I guess I have just been getting too caught up in how happy and positive my students have been about school! Their frustration is often a sign of them only being 7 years old! They are not exactly at a point where they can handle their emotions on their own very well which is so understandable for that age. 

I just wish that happy and positive outlook on school could continue through elementary school and beyond but we all know it doesn't. I know I won't be a superhero to turn that around for every student I come in contact with during my career. But I can say that I will give each student a little harder of a look before I write them off to someone else. As an educator, I believe that each student is my priority first and foremost. No matter what their academic situation is, I want to be apart of their progress throughout their time with me. 

In the words of one of my students, "Okay so, I'm really bad at math but I still like it a lot! Like really, I'm so bad at it but it's my favorite subject!" 
The fact that she loves a subject she is 'bad' at is simply incredible to hear. She probably feels this way because no one has made her feel like she 'can't do the math on her own' or that she 'isn't fast enough' or 'doing it the right way'. 

I hope she never ever feels any of those ways. Let her love the subject she hates. 

QUICK UPDATE:
Now that you made it through my rant... let me tell you what I've been teaching!

Last week I taught science all week (3 days a week). I now feel so comfortable in front of this class. It just seems natural to get up there and work my magic for 30-40 minutes. We have been learning about technology! Something all too relevant to these kids :P 
I'll be finishing up this unit in the next week and a half. Next, I will be writing my own original unit about outer space! Wahoo!

This week I will continue teaching science plus I will be teaching writing! This subject takes up the entire week! So I will be having a solid 5 day run at teaching 'what makes writing good'. Basically we will be exploring the basics of what makes a narrative. (From brainstorming to the final product) By the end of this week they will be working on a partner narrative and then eventually sharing their narratives within small groups! I'm excited to see what these creative minds come up with. 

And of course I will continue working with my small groups for reading and spelling every day. 

Onto week 4!

Week 3: Mid-week update!

Tonight was CURRICULUM NIGHT! Basically the teachers get all dressed up in clothing they would never wear on a normal school day and speak to the parents of students in their class about what the school year will look like. Of course my CT did all of the talking, I did introduce myself though! The whole event only lasted about 30 minutes. It was pretty strange to be answering questions to parents about curriculum. I'm still adjusting to being considered an actual teacher in these instances! The parents of my students were beyond friendly and very chatty with me. Many of them mentioned their son or daughter has mentioned me at home, so that was nice to hear! Here is a picture of what I wore tonight! I felt like I looked like an actual teacher... scary! ;) 

"You're 22 and you still don't have a job?! My cousin is 17 and she has a job!"

Well I survived ALMOST a full week! I cannot believe this upcoming week will be my first full week of school with my 19 students. Bring on week 3! I have a feeling this whole experience is really going to fly now. 

I should also mention real quick that I DID go to lunch with the little boy who asked me to! It was fun to chat with my students on a less structured level and just get to know them as people. I ended up going to lunch with them for two days in a row! My little group of buddies at lunch grew a little more the second day :). 

It was very refreshing coming back to the classroom this week. I felt like everything was much more of a routine. This week I was the pilot of the week! My CT's classroom theme is hot air balloons and stuff like that. Each week we have a pilot of the week to make an 'all about me' styled poster. I filled mine with pictures of my family and my dogs and even a picture of me playing field hockey as a goalie. (The kids really got a kick out of that one!) 

The most amazing thing to them was that I am 22 years old. To them that did not seem too old but it wasn't young either. I went to lunch with my students twice this week and one student asked me if I was in 8th grade last year... hmm... no I was not. College was a more complicated idea to explain! My brother suggested that I should have said I was in 16th grade, that reallyyyyy would have thrown them off! Another student said to me, "You're 22 and you still don't have a job?! My cousin is 17 and she has a job!" 

Yes, I have had a job but it hasn't been a REAL job in terms of my life. I explained to her that teaching is the job I have been studying to do for about four years and that will be the job I want to do the rest of my life. She seemed to understand it a little more! :P

Many of my students have been telling me that they cannot believe I will be leaving them at some point! This makes me really happy to know that they are enjoying my presence in their classroom but also hurts to hear a little bit because I know that means saying good bye will be that much more emotional. 

I keep having flashbacks to when I had to say good bye to my kindergarteners in Iowa City. As I listened to each student tell me something they would miss about me, received a book about why they loved me, and hugged each of them good bye I was holding back tears. Once finally made it to my car I cried the entire way home because I was so upset that I would never see them again and I knew I would miss those little guys who taught me so much about teaching. One of my friends was a practicum student across the hall in the other classroom. I ran into her on campus and asked her how her last day was. She said, "Oh gosh, I bawled the whole way home! Tears... everywhere..." I was happy to know I wasn't alone. 

I was with those little ones for three to four hours for three days a week and I was THAT attached to them. What am I going to do when I need to leave students who I have been with since day one, all day everyday for a semesters worth of time?! What about the day I have my own classroom of students?! I don't even want to know... it won't be a good day. 

One of the students said I should teach 3rd grade so they could be in my class next year. I told her I would loveeeee that! Let's hope she passes that onto the principal or something ;) 

This week is going to be a BIG week for me! I am going to start doing the classroom opening every single day until my last two weeks of the semester. (The last two weeks are meant to be a 'phase out' meaning I will be doing less and less in the classroom so the students don't become dependent on me being in the classroom after lead teaching for so long) 
In addition to doing the classroom opening... I will be having my own small reading group to teach almost every day, my own spelling group to teach, and I will be teaching whole group science! Truthfully I have never taught a science lesson to students... ever... so I am a little nervous for that. I am sure my CT will help organize me and prepare me enough for this lesson. I think I am going to do something extra exciting with them! As a reward for all the standardized testing they had to endure the past few days. My lesson will be more of an experimental activity in which they will use random tools and objects to move a ball for one location to the next without touch it with their hands. I have a feeling this will be a big mess and stressful in terms of teaching but hey, as long as they students have fun and remember the point of the activity, I've done my job!

On top of all that, I will be attending curriculum night on Wednesday! It is crazy to think that I will be with my CT speaking to the parents of my students in my class as their teacher. I'm sure I won't be doing much of the talking but it is still pretty surreal to think about. I already have my outfit all picked out! 

It will be an exciting week ahead! I am nervous to start having all these other responsibilities in the classroom... but I know that once I do it a few times, it will become routine. I guess I would rather be thrown into something early in my student teaching experience and have plenty of time to become comfortable before I lead teach on my own for two weeks. 

Here's to another fun yet exhausting week filled with 2nd grade drama, iPad malfunctions, and more teaching responsibilities! As nervous as I am, I know it'll all be fun! 

Week 2: Mid-week update!

This picture summarizes the biggest change to this school district... TECHNOLOGY! Students in K-2 each have their own iPads and students in 3-5 each have their own Google Chrome Books. Geeze, I remember getting a floppy disk in my school supplies back in 2nd grade... Basically the next few months will be full of experiments and technological errors! Today I taught 19 2nd grade students how to take a picture of themselves and then set that as their lock screen. This was an adventure! They were so excited and anxious to play on their iPads. My biggest struggle was that I had absolutely no control over what they were ACTUALLY doing on their iPads. Lets just say today I had my teacher voice on full blast and probably repeated myself way too many times! This whole technology implementation will certainly be a learning experience for the teachers in SO many ways! Luckily I'm decently tech savvy and can quickly fix those 'wiggly icons' as my students like to say! (We had a major problem with pushing on the apps too aggressively and therefore causing app icons to move around :P ) 

"Promise you'll still eat lunch with me on Tuesday?"

All of my teacher education program classes highlighted the importance of building rapport with students. I have quickly realized how difficult it can be to build rapport while teaching and trying to maintain your status as the adult responsible for everything going on in the classroom. 

Let's just say this week was a little chaotic and my goal was simply to make it through the week and quickly catch onto my CT's teaching style, school procedures, and learn the names of my students. I honestly didn't put too much thought into really getting to know my students since I knew we had so many other things to get done in such short time. (Assessments, procedures, goal setting, etc.)  I guess I figured this was something that would develop over time. 

Monday and Tuesday were both in-service days. I spent a lot of time getting to know the school district and its goals for the year and helping my CT finish classroom set up. Wednesday was the first day of school, technically it was a half day. I was THRILLED to finally meet my 2nd grade students, all 19 of them! I followed my teacher around as she walked down the line outside the school and introduced herself to the students and their parents. After introducing herself she always turned around and introduced me! Most of the kids seemed confused and just smiled and said hi. The parents all looked happy and excited in my opinion and asked me about where I go to college, if I'm excited, how many students are in the class, etc. 

The following day my CT and I met the students outside again. As she went down the line to place name tags on the students she asked the students what her name was and what mine was. No one remembered my name...! I can't blame them. Honestly, my CT kept forgetting to save a few minutes to introduce me as the student teacher to the class. I think they are assuming I am just a helper who always seems to stick around. Next week I will finally get to have a conversation with the class about me being a student teacher and what that means. I'm hoping that will finally help my students understand my place in the classroom. 

To my surprise a sweet, sweet boy remembered my name. I was walking through the classroom helping students who raised their hands during my CT's lesson. Suddenly I heard, "Miss Brailov, can you come here?" YESSSSS! ONE STUDENT KNEW MY NAME! I don't think he realized how good this made me feel. I felt like he was noticing me as another teacher in his room. He felt like it was okay to come to me for help. This was awesome :). 

Throughout the next two days, this student kept coming up to me to ask questions and just to chat. He was so sweet to me! During recess on Friday my CT had me take the students inside while she ran to the office. She left me in charge and this student said, "Yes! Miss Brailov is our teacher!" 

Let's just say... this student is probably my #1 fan :) let's hope I can win over the other 18!

He even made me a paper airplane to keep on my desk! He told me it was the first paper airplane he ever decorated for someone. Little does he know, I'll keep this forever and always remember my first student during student teaching who reached out to me. 

On Friday he asked me if I could come to lunch with him and "sit right next to him". Suddenly he reminded me of my little kindergarteners from Iowa City who eventually invited me to eat lunch with them. I felt so happy when they invited me to lunch because it made me feel like they actually liked me and wanted to just hang out with me. I was so happy my 2nd grader asked but I already had plans with my CT for lunch. I told him next week I could go with him, he seemed satisfied with my answer. Right before he left the classroom on Friday he even confirmed our lunch plans by saying, "Promise you'll still eat lunch with me on Tuesday?"    =D, how could I not go?! 

"Of course, I'll be there!"

Okay, okay. He wasn't the ONLY student talking to me last week. Many of them came up to me to ask questions. I have been continually making my way around the classroom trying to talk with every student that I can. That is one of the benefits of not teaching right now, I can just walk around and engage with everyone! 

These young boys loveeeee to 'misbehave' and look right at me for my reaction. I think they know I'm not going to just yell at them so they intentionally look at me when they are doing something they shouldn't be. I'll admit, it always gets my attention, which seems to be what they are looking for. As soon as I look at them they smile and stop what they are doing. Oh my 2nd grade boys! They also like to show me that they can jump as tall as I am. 
Wahoo... I'm short... I know... :) 

The girls are a little different. As soon as I sit down by them, they instantly become very chatty. I think they are actually trying to be funny for me! Every time I walk by they say something ridiculous like 'OH MY GOSH! My crayon box EXPLODED! HELP!' or "I only read books about things that are really, really cute or really gross. Can you find me a book on something icky?" Well, they always get me to laugh! I never notice them saying these things to my CT. Maybe they see me as the 'younger, less authoritative figure' in the room. I haven't exactly brought out my teacher voice or thrown down my teacher looks yet. 

Soon... very soon... ;) 

My 19 2nd graders are SO full of personality! I love it! The things they say, the thoughts they have, the way they interpret is so unique. I really would love to get to know all of my students as soon as possible! I at least want to win them all over before I start lead teaching! I feel like that will greatly work to my advantage when I am in charge of the classroom for 2 weeks. 

In reality, I am seeing the importance of building rapport with your students quickly. The students will not always remember what they learned in 2nd grade but hopefully they remember the student teacher who made them feel special and valued in some way. My goal is to finish this semester having made a genuine connection with each of my students. I want them to remember me and how much fun they had learning with me. They will want to learn with me if they like me. I want them to see me not only as a teacher but also as someone who really does care about them and always wants to help them be the best they can be. 

I can tell I've got 1... this week I need to get to work on the other 18. I have a feeling this won't be too difficult now that we will finally have a normal school week. I feel like this is like making new friends all over again! Except my friends are all 7 years old... whatever! I like it. 

Well, I've got a big week coming up! I will be teaching my first lesson! It will be a small group guided reading lesson. Language arts is something I have a lot of experience teaching. I am a little nervous since this is my first go around with my 2nd grade class but I'm sure I'll make it out alive! The text I am teaching is called The Big Bushy Mustache... yes... I'll just let you imagine what this might be about... I have a feeling it will be hilarious to 2nd graders! 

I am SO excited to begin week 2 of student teaching! Really, I cannot even put it in words how excited I am. Being back in a classroom with students feels so great. I love interacting with them and helping them learn. They all have so much potential and I cannot wait to see where the next few months takes all of us in learning. Being a student teacher feels so much different than being a practicum student. I am treated like a staff member by my CT, the students, and the whole faculty at my school. I feel like a real teacher for the first time! 

Suddenly, I feel excited to lead teacher and not scared of it. Maybe I was cut out for this whole teaching thing after all. :) 

Something I really need to figure out this week... how can I keep my energy levels up through out the whole day? Let's just say my teacher stamina isn't exactly there yet. Being in the classroom and working with students from 8:25-3:25 has been a huge adjustment for me! We also of course need to come early and stay late to plan for upcoming school days. These 2nd graders really know how to run me down! 

Onto week 2! I know the students are excited to come back to school... they are getting their own iPads this week! I remember when I got a floppy disk in my school supplies... oh how the world has changed! 

*Side note: Notice, I did start using student quotes as my blog titles! I love this addition!
Also if you want to leave me a comment about my blog post you will NOT be able to do it in the comment section because you most likely do not have a gmail account. If you would like to comment on my blog the best way to do it is to send me back an e-mail :) I love hearing what you all think about my blog posts. thank you!*

Week 1: Mid-week update!

This picture is of a mug the PTO gave as a gift to all of the teachers for this school year! It has the school's mascot on it, a penguin. The mug was also filled with packets of tea, mmm! I was also given the button to wear on the first day of school with the teachers. Mine was a little more colorful and said 'student teacher'. :) I had a great first day of school! I might even go back tomorrow... ;) My students are fantastic, it will be a great semester in this classroom! 

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." -Arthur Ashe

I'm still trying to figure out if I am excited for tomorrow or nervous. Okay... I am going to go with overwhelmed. I am honestly not even sure why I feel this way. I mean, I've been attending these inservice days and meetings for the past two weeks with my CT (cooperating teaching, the teacher I will be working with this semester). She has been beyond inclusive with me. I have done everything from setting up the classroom (side note: setting up bulletin boards is HARD and not meant for short people...) to meeting the staff at school to attending seminars. I should feel prepared but alas I still just feel overwhelmed. 

Maybe it's because I am really starting to understand the true meaning of being a teacher. I'm seeing what actually happens when the students are not around. I am not even sure how to explain it in the right way. I never thought being a teacher would be easy but right now it looks extra hard. I'm not even in charge yet and I am feeling like this is going to be really rough. 

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I should be seeing the dark parts of teaching, the parts they don't tell you about in college... 

The whole system can be so cruel and unfair. 

This frustrates me most because at the root of everyone working in the field of education we have our students. Shouldn't every decision be about what's best for the students? You would think... but it's not. 

But you know what? These teachers I am working with make it work as best as they possibly can for the students. I have already seen them go above and beyond for each other, their school, their district, and most importantly their students. It is because they don't let all the bad things get to them. I am assuming this comes with more experience in teaching... you learn how to still make it work... even when it seems hopeless. 

I am so lucky to have so many incredible teacher role models all in one school. 

So I am going to assume my feelings of being overwhelmed are totally normal. I have literally been thrown into the world of teaching. It feels as if over night I went from college student to teacher. As my practicum advisor told us, 

"You just need to jump into the deep end sometimes and we can't always save you". 

This whole teaching thing gets really scary sometimes but I have always survived on my own. 

I remember the first lesson plan I wrote during my first semester of my program.... 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh. my. gosh. It took me HOURS! I would read though the Iowa state standards for about 45 minutes before committing to a direction to take my lesson in. I would change ideas about 5-10 times and would spend way too long on trying to think of an interesting opening to my lesson. Just thinking back to those days makes me cringe... 

Towards the end of practicum I could write a lesson in 20 minutes even. It felt so natural and easy. The even more strange part... it was calming to me. I loved putting my headphones in and throwing my mind into teacher mode and cranking out a solid lesson plan. It felt so instant. 

So tonight I am going to focus on calming myself down and staying relaxed. 

TOMORROW IS DAY 1 OF STUDENT TEACHING. GET PUMPED!  says the voice in my head... 

One of my friends back at Iowa texted me this evening saying "Good luck on your first day of student teaching, Miss Brailov!" I think I had the biggest smile on face that I have had all weekend. Starting Wednesday when the students come.. I'll be Miss Brailov again. 

This is actually the first day of the rest of my life. Tomorrow I will be doing what I plan to be doing for my entire career. 

This is scary but exciting. I want to be a teacher, I know that. It'll take some getting used to but I can do it. It's going to be crazy journey the next few months but I can already tell it'll be incredible. I am so excited to get back into my teacher mode. I want to write lesson plans, grade homework, teach guided reading, get to know the students, etc. The best part is... this time around I get to stay all day! These students will see me as a real teacher in their classroom. 

Oh... and I also get to be around for back to school night, halloween, student showcase, the first day of school, curriculum night. :) 

I mean come on... the door to my classroom says 'Soaring through 2nd grade with Mrs. ____ and Miss. Brailov' 

=D! Wowwwww! That's MY NAME! Listed...as a teacher... wow! 

THIS IS ALL REALLY EXCITING!  I can do this. 

Okay. I am ready. Excited. Anxious. Happy. 

Overall... ready for 2nd grade! 

I am just going to do everything I can as a student teacher. 

I plan to learn from my CT, learn from the 2nd grade team, learn from my students, and never be afraid of trying something new or asking questions. I am ready to make the most out of this experience! #YOSTO (You Only Student Teach Once) OKAY... I should sleep. 

*Before I go... here is a quick update in terms of my blog!*

-For those of you who read weekly, you will notice the layout has changed, yay! I finally took my chance at customizing my blog. Enjoy a new color scheme! I've also updated my blog picture. It's a tad more professional. 

-I plan to add a 'mid week update' on Wednesdays. This will be a post with a picture that I take that represents something going on that week. I will also write a quick blurb about the picture and it's significance to my week. 

-I am going to try and post my blog titles as a quote said by my students that week! I have a feeling this will be super fun :)

-Lastly, I plan to write a formal post every Sunday as usual! 

It's good to be back! Now... time to sleep... I have an inservice at 7:45 AM!