I have had so many thoughts going through my head as the semester comes to a close.
My first thought is "Wow, I did it." I can't lie... I had many moments where I thought I would never see the end of this semester. Every time I had one of those moments a smiling, enthusiastic kindergartener would remind me why I was going to make it.
Student: "Miss Brailov, I need you."
Me: "What do you need?"
Student: "I need you to help me."
Me: "With what?"
Student: "I need you to help me learn! Teach me something!"
(and this moment was perfect)
Today I taught my first FULL GROUP LESSON ! I DID IT! All morning I was very nervous about it. I was teaching place value to kindergarteners. Not only was this a math lesson but it was place value... to kindergarteners... oh the common core standards...
I kept reading through my lesson plan, scanning the SMART Board presentation, reviewing my game, counting my supplies, reviewing my partner list. I was very nervous.
Once I turned on the SMART Board, took a deep breath, put on my biggest smile and finally said "Today we are going to look at place value and I PROMISE this will be fun!" I looked out at my students and saw 17 smiling faces and knew I would be okay.
And I was
It all came naturally after that. I felt calm, excited, and motivated all at once.
One of the students I was very worried about comprehending the lesson answered the most difficult question with ease and explained himself perfectly.
I did it. He learned, they all learned.
I watched them play the game I created to practice identifying the tens place and the ones place for numbers 11-20 and showing these numbers with base ten blocks.
They did it. All 17 of them.
Not only did they do it... they helped each other, they explained their thinking, they tried new methods.
My 17 kindergarteners learned how to demonstrate the tens and ones place in numbers 11-20 with base ten blocks and could explain why it worked.
SUCCESS! SO MUCH SUCESS!
The kindergarten teachers loved it so much they took my lesson plan, SMART Board activity, and game to use again!
And after all of this... I knew I was going to be okay because I was doing what I was meant to do.
I was meant to teach. I want to teach. I want to help students learn for the sake of learning. I was to see those light bulbs go off. I want to watch students work through their struggles. I want to see students grow. I want to help them find their passions.
I have never felt so good about what I was doing with my life before today.
In practicum, teaching has never been difficult but it never felt easy either.
Today... it felt easy. I felt so natural and prepared. Best of all, my students learned.
Tomorrow marks a new beginning. I will be finding out where I will be student teaching in the fall and what grade level I will be working with.
STUDENT TEACHING?! Isn't that the last thing you do before you are a fully licensed teacher?! Yep... I made it.
It is going to be another incredible adventure with another class of amazing students. A whole new group of individuals to get to know, a new school, and new grade, everything will be new again.
I am scared but excited.
- Scared to start over
- Excited to teach
I guess these feelings are normal.
On Sunday I graduated from my sorority. We did an activity where we sat in a circle and freely talked about the seniors, paying honor to their 4 years in the chapter. I listened to many different people tell me how important my presence has been to them in recent years. It really made me feel good. But here was what made me feel the best...
One of my fellow seniors looked right at me and told me that I have grown so much over the past 4 years and she is proud of everything I have done for myself. She said she remembers meeting me as a goofy freshman who would do anything to make people laugh and smile. She then watched me turn into a responsible, passionate, mature adult. She then told me I was a role model to her and the rest of the chapter. She also said that my future students will be so lucky to have a teacher who genuinely wants the best for them and will stop at nothing to make that happen.
I didn't even know what to say back. Those words will stick with me for the rest of my life. That was the first time I had a peer take the time to really tell me something like that. It felt really good to know that I haven't just been demonstrating these qualities in the teacher education program, I've been demonstrating it to everyone.
I know I've grown up a lot. Especially in the past year that I have been in the college of education. For the first time in my life, I feel ready to do something bigger than college, bigger than sorority, bigger than working at camp. I am ready for a career, a career in something that makes me feel like I am doing something that will have an impact on someones life. Something that I will be happy to wake up for every day. Something that I will put my whole heart and soul into because I want to.
I am lucky to have found something to do with my life that makes me feel that way.
So I am ready to start the next chapter of my life as a future teacher... student teaching. I know that will fly by and soon enough I will be applying for my first real teaching job. I cannot wait.
DON'T WORRY! I WON'T LEAVE YOU HANGING! You are all coming along too!
Yes, I am going to continue this blog. I will blog every Sunday once student teaching begins. This will probably be my last post for the semester and summer but I PROMISE I will be back in late August. :)
A now a special shout out to my Literacy Learning and Teaching III teacher, Wendy, who I know is reading this... :)
Thank you for making me do this. Being able to express myself in writing has helped me learn so much about myself as a future teacher. It has helped me realize what I value in education, in students, in myself, and what I am truly aspiring to be as a teacher. The weekly vent session I have on here has been the continuing force in what has kept me grounded when everything got tough. I cannot wait to look back at my old posts one day and see where I started while in my teacher education program and where I am now as a teacher. I am sure my family is also grateful to be able to 'get inside my teacher head' once a week so I am sure they thank you as well!
See you all in August! More adventures ahead.... :)
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