"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." -Arthur Ashe

I'm still trying to figure out if I am excited for tomorrow or nervous. Okay... I am going to go with overwhelmed. I am honestly not even sure why I feel this way. I mean, I've been attending these inservice days and meetings for the past two weeks with my CT (cooperating teaching, the teacher I will be working with this semester). She has been beyond inclusive with me. I have done everything from setting up the classroom (side note: setting up bulletin boards is HARD and not meant for short people...) to meeting the staff at school to attending seminars. I should feel prepared but alas I still just feel overwhelmed. 

Maybe it's because I am really starting to understand the true meaning of being a teacher. I'm seeing what actually happens when the students are not around. I am not even sure how to explain it in the right way. I never thought being a teacher would be easy but right now it looks extra hard. I'm not even in charge yet and I am feeling like this is going to be really rough. 

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I should be seeing the dark parts of teaching, the parts they don't tell you about in college... 

The whole system can be so cruel and unfair. 

This frustrates me most because at the root of everyone working in the field of education we have our students. Shouldn't every decision be about what's best for the students? You would think... but it's not. 

But you know what? These teachers I am working with make it work as best as they possibly can for the students. I have already seen them go above and beyond for each other, their school, their district, and most importantly their students. It is because they don't let all the bad things get to them. I am assuming this comes with more experience in teaching... you learn how to still make it work... even when it seems hopeless. 

I am so lucky to have so many incredible teacher role models all in one school. 

So I am going to assume my feelings of being overwhelmed are totally normal. I have literally been thrown into the world of teaching. It feels as if over night I went from college student to teacher. As my practicum advisor told us, 

"You just need to jump into the deep end sometimes and we can't always save you". 

This whole teaching thing gets really scary sometimes but I have always survived on my own. 

I remember the first lesson plan I wrote during my first semester of my program.... 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh. my. gosh. It took me HOURS! I would read though the Iowa state standards for about 45 minutes before committing to a direction to take my lesson in. I would change ideas about 5-10 times and would spend way too long on trying to think of an interesting opening to my lesson. Just thinking back to those days makes me cringe... 

Towards the end of practicum I could write a lesson in 20 minutes even. It felt so natural and easy. The even more strange part... it was calming to me. I loved putting my headphones in and throwing my mind into teacher mode and cranking out a solid lesson plan. It felt so instant. 

So tonight I am going to focus on calming myself down and staying relaxed. 

TOMORROW IS DAY 1 OF STUDENT TEACHING. GET PUMPED!  says the voice in my head... 

One of my friends back at Iowa texted me this evening saying "Good luck on your first day of student teaching, Miss Brailov!" I think I had the biggest smile on face that I have had all weekend. Starting Wednesday when the students come.. I'll be Miss Brailov again. 

This is actually the first day of the rest of my life. Tomorrow I will be doing what I plan to be doing for my entire career. 

This is scary but exciting. I want to be a teacher, I know that. It'll take some getting used to but I can do it. It's going to be crazy journey the next few months but I can already tell it'll be incredible. I am so excited to get back into my teacher mode. I want to write lesson plans, grade homework, teach guided reading, get to know the students, etc. The best part is... this time around I get to stay all day! These students will see me as a real teacher in their classroom. 

Oh... and I also get to be around for back to school night, halloween, student showcase, the first day of school, curriculum night. :) 

I mean come on... the door to my classroom says 'Soaring through 2nd grade with Mrs. ____ and Miss. Brailov' 

=D! Wowwwww! That's MY NAME! Listed...as a teacher... wow! 

THIS IS ALL REALLY EXCITING!  I can do this. 

Okay. I am ready. Excited. Anxious. Happy. 

Overall... ready for 2nd grade! 

I am just going to do everything I can as a student teacher. 

I plan to learn from my CT, learn from the 2nd grade team, learn from my students, and never be afraid of trying something new or asking questions. I am ready to make the most out of this experience! #YOSTO (You Only Student Teach Once) OKAY... I should sleep. 

*Before I go... here is a quick update in terms of my blog!*

-For those of you who read weekly, you will notice the layout has changed, yay! I finally took my chance at customizing my blog. Enjoy a new color scheme! I've also updated my blog picture. It's a tad more professional. 

-I plan to add a 'mid week update' on Wednesdays. This will be a post with a picture that I take that represents something going on that week. I will also write a quick blurb about the picture and it's significance to my week. 

-I am going to try and post my blog titles as a quote said by my students that week! I have a feeling this will be super fun :)

-Lastly, I plan to write a formal post every Sunday as usual! 

It's good to be back! Now... time to sleep... I have an inservice at 7:45 AM!